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Published by Dave Newnham & FiniteSite.com

Last revised 23/02/03

Grace Bay looking East to Club Med

Turkoise, Providenciales (October 86 to March 1987)

Back to Turkoise after such an amazing summer, and this would turn out to be quite an amazing winter......... Arrived before the new CdV who was Michel Simon "Miredieu". Inauspicious beginning to the season as he arrived on the plane that we loaded a dead Gm onto!!! During Sports Day an American GM had a massive heart Attack and died during the tug-of-war. There followed a Monty Python sketch as Ewan the Doctor proceeded withe the circumstances surrounding the death. First there is no official morgue on the Island, just an old Shipping container that has a generator to keep it call in need. First we had to find the owner to turn it on. Then we had to transport the body, that had been stripped and cleaned by Ewan. Dave to Ewan "How come he's got a purple chest?" "Bruising from the CPR!" Wow, anyway had to persuade the Maintenance team to run the body down to the Morgue for the night. They got their Ute and we put the body covered by a sheet in the back, with four Maintenance GO's holding down each corner. Ewan said "Follow me" who was on his motorbike, and sped off into the distance. Well of course the Ute sped of in pursuit such that the sheet flew off and left the 4 GO's staring down at a naked corpse lying in the back of the Ute..... More was to come as Ewan had to perform a post mortem in the shower cubicle of the local Medical Centre. Afterwards he asked for the maintenance team to again transport the body. I spliced them up on Bloody Mary's, and sent them off with bin liners, much to their disgust as the body was seeping a little as Ewan put it from the P.M. ! After another day, we then had to put the body in a hermetic box that arrived from Miami, and put it in the plane. The locals wouldn't touch it and hid while we carried this out, as it was too much Voodoo from Haiti for them! But a final Python sketch was when the box turned out to be too small, so a liberal break of the neck and ankles, and Ewan managed to fit the guy in.

Another View of Grace Bay

What a start to the season, as we washed our hands and welcomed the new CdV to Providenciales. It didn't get any better either as Miredieu was a twat and a racist and I told him so. So I got sacked at which Michelle Chupeau organised a GO strike so that all the GO's could be at my departure. I was lucky to get out as the season didn't last much longer. Miredieu was seen to be pacifying a local Personnel by using a sound stand on his head, this caused an immediate strike and an invasion by locals who took over the Resort. Paris had to repatriate the GM's and close down the village. I got an official apology from Club Med two months later.

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Back to Paris and was told that a Gestionnaire was needed for UTA and Papie Combart for the re-construction of Chateau Royal in Noumea, a French Island in the Pacific west of Queensland. Thoughts immediately entered my head that this was a free passage to Australia, so gladly accepted. However I hadn't planned on spending the entire 27 hours to Noumea in a plane next to the new CdV, Frankie Pankie Gueguen, otherwise known as the stuttering poisoned dwarf! Managed to remain for 6 months to see through the New Noumea, even though Paul Roll didn't want two Gestionnaires and two Maintenance managers in the one Resort and Papie did. Papie won, much to Paul Roll's chagrin.

Chateau Royal

Times were interesting on the Island as the Indigenous population (Kanaks) didn't like the French too much. The French response was to send in the CRS and rough them up a bit, one famous incident being in the main Place in Noumea where the CRS tear gassed and struck a peaceful Kanak picnic full of women and kids. Closed the Resort for renovations during the election and promptly got requisitioned by the French CRS (Riot Police). Made for an interesting time to be met by guns in your own home. However things settled down and the work finished, but not to mention the sinking of the Rainbow Warrior in Auckland Harbour during this time which didn't exactly endear the French to the Aussies and Kiwis.

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Metaponto (May 88 to July 1988)

Asked Paris for 6 months off, as I was so near to Australia and backpacked around Oz for 6 months. Had a great time and developed a love for Australia and a yearning to go back.

Metaponto in the South of Italy

Off to the South of Italy to help open the village as the Planning chickie resigned just before the start. I think it was a test for me to see whether I'd accept a lower role.... Didn't worry me in the slightest. Had an enjoyable time even though I only seemed to learn "Pronto" on the telephone. Visited Naples, Capri and Pompeii, as well as helping the Gestionnaire in Otranto learn Lotus 123. Then got a phone call from Paris asking me if I would like to go to Itaparica in Brasil as Gestionnaire. Didn't hesitate to reply in the affirmative, so winged myself back to Paris for a two week crash course in Portuguese. This was fun as there was just me and the teacher, many sessions being passed in the Cafe.

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