Living with Nabal
By Michelle Stace
I Samuel Chapter 25
1. And Samuel died; and all the Israelites were gathered together, and lamented him, and buried him in his house at Ramah. And David arose, and went down to the wilderness of Paran.
2. And there was a man in Maon, whose possessions were in Carmel; and the man was very great, and he had three thousand sheep, and a thousand goats: and he was shearing his sheep in Carmel.
3. Now the name of the man was Nabal; and the name of his wife Abigail: and she was a woman of good understanding, and of a beautiful countenance: but the man was churlish and evil in his doing; and he was of the house of Caleb.
Definition and character of Nabal: foolish, wicked. Churlish: cruel, severe, hard, stubborn, obstinate. He’s also described as evil, a son of Belial (worthless man), “a man cannot speak to him” – unreasonable, “requited David evil for good,” “railed on them” (spoke abusively). Selfish, stingy, thoughtless.
4. And David heard in the wilderness that Nabal did shear his sheep.
5. And David sent out ten young men, and David said unto the young men, Get you up to Carmel, and go to Nabal, and greet him in my name:
6. And thus shall ye say to him that liveth in prosperity, Peace be both to thee, and peace be to thine house, and peace be unto all that thou hast.
7. And now I have heard that thou hast shearers: now thy shepherds which were with us, we hurt them not, neither was there ought missing unto them, all the while they were in Carmel.
8. Ask thy young men, and they will shew thee. Wherefore let the young men find favour in thine eyes: for we come in a good day: give, I pray thee, whatsoever cometh to thine hand unto thy servants, and to thy son David.
9. And when David’s young men came, they spake to Nabal according to all those words in the name of David, and ceased.
10. And Nabal answered David’s servants, and said, Who is David? And who is the son of Jesse? There be many servants now a days that break away every man from his master.
11. Shall I then take my bread, and my water, and my flesh that I have killed for my shearers, and give it unto men, whom I know not whence they be?
12. So David’s young men turned their way, and went again, and came and told him all those sayings.
13. And David said unto his men, Gird ye on every man his sword, And they girded on every man his sword: and David also girded on his sword: and there went up after David about four hundred men; and two hundred abode by the stuff.
14. But one of the young men told Abigail, Nabal’s wife, saying, Behold, David sent messengers out of the wilderness to salute out master; and he railed on them.
Since Abigail now knew what happened, this would have been one of the factors that made her responsible to act. I think the young man told Abigail because lives were at stake – otherwise he would have let it go as far as she was concerned. And I think Nabal must not have been around at this point or in v.18, else he would have seen this man talking to his wife or seen her making preparations.
15. But the men were very good unto us, and we were not hurt, neither missed we any thing, as long as we were conversant with them, when we were in the fields:
16. They were a wall unto us both by night and day, all the while we were with them keeping the sheep.
17. Now therefore know and consider what thou wilt do; for evil is determined against our master, and against all his household: for he is such a son of Belial, that a man cannot speak to him.
Abigail had to act quickly. It’s easy to ‘react’ quickly, but how wise will the action be? And many can act wisely after time to think, consider and plan. But to act quickly and wisely requires godly wisdom and principles that have become a habit of life – in other words, lived out in all the little daily duties.
For her to act so quickly -
18. Then Abigail made haste, and took two hundred loaves, and two bottles of wine, and five sheep ready dressed, and five measures of parched corn, and an hundred clusters of raisins, and two hundred cakes of figs, and laid them on asses.
Based on what she was told earlier, David’s men were owed food for their service. So she gathered as much food as possible in the short time she had, to present as a gift of appeasement. She understood that the gift would soften David’s anger and give her room to speak to him. Surely this is something she did often to subdue her husband and to perhaps try to divert or persuade him from evil behavior.
19. And she said unto her servants, Go on before me; behold, I come after you. But she told not her husband Nabal.
In wisdom, she sent the gift ahead of herself to prepare David’s heart for what she had to say.
Why didn’t she tell her husband? Possibilities: many lives were at stake – given
the kind of man her husband was, had he known, he would probably have made things
far worse. He would have stopped her and men would have been killed, also she wasn’t
sneaking in deceit, but rather quietly doing good. If she had any fear of her husband,
she didn’t let it stop her. She obeyed God rather than man and trusted in His strength.
She was able to discern when it was her responsibility to take action. She didn’t
act for selfish reasons (self-
20. And it was so, as she rode on the ass, that she came down by the covert on the hill, and, behold, David and his men came down against her; and she met them.
21. Now David had said, Surely in vain have I kept all that this fellow hath in the wilderness, so that nothing was missed of all that pertained unto him: and he hath requited me evil for good.
22. So and more also do God unto the enemies of David, if I leave of all that pertain to him by the morning light any that pisseth against the wall.
23. And when Abigail saw David, she hasted, and lighted off the ass, and fell before David on her face, and bowed herself to the ground,
She comes before him in humility and urgency.
24. And fell at his feet, and said, Upon me, my lord, upon me let this iniquity be: and let thine handmaid, I pray thee, speak in thine audience, and hear the words of thine handmaid.
She’s willing to take her husband’s sin upon herself. She is covering him with sacrificial love and forgiveness (like the Lord Jesus does for us). She is not excusing or tolerating the sin (this is different from covering a sin), but willing to make what restitution she can – trying to bring good out of bad. Submission to one’s husband is not to be paralyzing or thoughtless, or to be used as an excuse to negate one’s own responsibility before God. In other words she didn’t allow a wrong sense of submission to her husband to usurp submission to her God.
25. Let not my lord, I pray thee, regard [‘turn his heart unto’ – take the offense to heart] this man of Belial, even Nabal: for as his name is, so is he; Nabal is his name, and folly is with him: but I thine handmaid saw not the young men of my lord, whom thou didst send.
She was bluntly honest about the kind of character her husband had – in this case there was no point in trying to soften the truth – if she had it might have made David and his men even angrier. I think it’s a given to that other situations would call for a little more discretion.
Here and in v.26 she gives David the counsel she must have lived by – see entries for vs. 17 and 18. One also gets the impression from the last part of the sentence that had she seen the men David sent and what was going on, she might have been able to influence a different outcome.
26. Now therefore, my lord, as the LORD liveth, and as thy soul liveth, seeing the LORD hath withholden thee from coming to shed blood, and from avenging thyself with thine own hand, now let thine enemies, and they that seek evil to my lord, be as Nabal.
27. And now this blessing which thine handmaid hath brought unto my lord, let it even be given unto the young men that follow my lord.
28. I pray thee, forgive the trespass of thine handmaid: for the LORD will certainly make my lord a sure house; because my lord fighteth the battles of the LORD, and evil hath not been found in thee all thy days.
29. Yet a man is risen to pursue thee, and to seek thy soul: but the soul of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of life with the LORD thy God; and the souls of thy enemies, them shall He sling out, as out of the middle of a sling.
30. And it shall come to pass, when the LORD shall have done to my lord according to all the good that He hath spoken concerning thee, and shall have appointed thee ruler over Israel;
31. That this shall be no grief unto thee, nor offence of heart unto my lord, either that thou hast shed blood causeless, or that my lord hath avenged himself: but when the LORD shall have dealt well with my lord, then remember thine handmaid.
In v.26 and 31 she gently reminds David that vengeance belongs to God and that he should leave the wrongs done to him with God. She also reminds him of his position in the Lord. David truly had a heart for God because her words went to his heart as he listened and turned from his wrong intent.
I believe Abigail KNEW she was in God’s will because she gives Him all the glory for withholding David from bloodshed. She KNEW she was a vessel for His use. Someone acting on their own behalf would have taken the credit otherwise. This is a wonderful example of a godly woman being responsible and discerning enough to be obedient to God first.
32. And David said to Abigail, Blesses be the LORD God of Israel, which sent thee this day to meet me:
33. And blessed be thy advice, and blessed be thou, which hast kept me this day from coming to shed blood, and from avenging myself with mine own hand.
34. For in very deed, as the LORD God of Israel liveth, which hath kept me back from hurting thee, except thou hadst hasted and come to meet me, surely there had not been left unto Nabal by the morning light any that pisseth against the wall.
35. So David received of her hand that which she had brought him, and said unto her, Go up in peace to thine house; see, I have hearkened to thy voice, and have accepted thy person.
36. And Abigail came to Nabal; and, behold, he held a feast in his house, like the feast of a king; and Nabal’s heart was merry within him, for he was very drunken: wherefore she told him nothing, less or more, until the morning light.
37. But it came to pass in the morning, when the wine was gone out of Nabal, and his wife had told him these things, that his heart died within him, and he became as a stone.
Nabal would have learned at some point what happened. It was right for her to be upfront and honest even thou she might have feared his anger. She abandoned herself to God’s protection.
38. And it came to pass about ten days after, that the LORD smote Nabal, that he died.
39. And when David heard that Nabal was dead, he said, Blessed be the LORD, that hath pleaded the cause of my reproach from the hand of Nabal, and hath kept his servant from evil: for the LORD hath returned the wickedness of Nabal upon his own head. David sent and communed with Abigail, to take her to him to wife.
More thought on wifely submission . . .
If the situation doesn’t amount to much spiritually – a serious spiritual compromise – it is right to submit.
To use submission to one’s husband as an excuse for personal responsibility before God is wrong.
To avoid submission out of willfulness (stubbornness) is wrong.
Not acting when one should is to be a partaker in another’s guilt – it encourages the other to justify his behavior because no one calls him to account – he gets away with it. At the same time you can’t force someone to do right, but they can be exposed and know they don’t have your support.
Healthy submission: by Thomas aKempis
1. Always strive to do another’s will rather than my own.
2. Always chose to have less rather than more.
3. Always seek the lowest place and be submissive in all things.
4. Always desire and pray that God’s will be entirely fulfilled in me.
A purpose of submission is for human willfulness to be broken. This is the self-
Godly authority: is humble, it serves. It doesn’t exist to exalt self. It doesn’t belittle or smother. It doesn’t feel threatened if someone disagrees or has their own ideas. True authority provides order, stability, and guidance. It is dependable and takes responsibility. It gives room for those under it to be creative and to think for themselves. It doesn’t destroy the essence of who another person is. It encourages and gives room for another to learn and grow. It doesn’t force or rigidly control. It allows room for testing and failure – experiences in which to grow by.